The 21st Century Man


Alert! Alert! All members of the public are being advised to be vigilant. The man hunt continues. A million dollar bounty is to be offered to anyone who can provide any information in regards to his whereabouts. All the appropriate measures are being put into consideration to help unmask this man, roadblocks are being set up at all checkpoints to help slow him down. Her bitter outcry hasn’t fallen on deaf ears, something needs to be done. Time and time again she has been asking where did the refined men, the gentlemen who once graced our streets disappear to. She complains that this current generation has no real men but only mere boys. She asks what happened to the man who would hold the door for his lady, the man who didn’t play games, one who helped her get seated by pulling out the chair for her or even sacrificed his seat in the bus when none was left or offered his coat when it was cold so as to ensure that she was warm. The man who kept both his word and a secret. Did the gentlemen really grow extinct?

Every human species with the male gene dreams of the day they will be called a gentleman but then who is this gentleman every woman wants to date and every man wants to associate with. Is wearing a suit what completes him or maybe having a well-trimmed beard or how he talks with his deep husky voice? None of those traits makes the man, and when I asked Miaron to describe a gentleman he said “this is a man who eats with a fork even when there is one else is the room”. He is a principled and doesn’t need to be pushed around being told what is required of him but knows how to differentiate what he needs from what he wants to do. Do you know of such a guy? Maybe a short trip down the memory lane will help and by now you have already identified one or even a few guys. That guy who goes out of his way so as to just paint a smile on your face, that guy who doesn’t mind being a fool for you.

photo credits Camara visual

Chivalry isn’t dead, gentlemen haven’t grown extinct but as time has gone by and us crossing into the new century so have the men evolved from the vintage and very official 18th century man into the new vibrant 21st century man. The man who might forget to help her out of her coat but knows her shoe size and doesn’t need to call her sister to confirm this when buying shoes for his lady, he doesn’t mind going out with her for shopping or carrying her bags. Maybe the modern man isn’t Johnny Cash and he won’t come to your window with a boom box but then the 21st century man serenades you with his hoarse voice which is terrible to a point you aren’t sure whether it is his phone or him vibrating, he brings you a rose to show you how sorry he is when he offends you. How he invites you over for dinner and makes you a half cooked meal or an over cooked one but you end up laughing about it and you order for take-out or how he surprises you with red lingerie on valentines night and still gets one which perfectly fits you. That is your 21st century man he might sag his pants, never wear a suit but that doesn’t make him half the man. Am sure the gentlemen from the past would be proud of this current generation. And before I forget the modern man also cries at times too, yes I just said that he cries.


But do we at times ask for too much from our men to a point where we are not even sure what we really want for them. We want them to express their feelings and when the modern man cries we think of him as weak, it’s a taboo for men to cry but when he pretends all is well and he is a hardcore we claim he is building walls all around him to push you aside while he is trying to be strong for the both of you. You want men to treat you equally but then do you treat them as your equals too. So if you are looking for a Mr. Right, a gentleman you also need to be a gentle lady and for the men if you want to leave her, leave her breathless. If you want to lie, lie next to her. If you want to let go, let go of your pride and pursue her. For ladies a real gentleman is made by you, so don’t look far, work on the one who is next to you and a true gentleman…a Mr. Right will be at your disposal for life.

photo credits BMPICS

# 21st century man


16 Comments Add yours

  1. faith says:

    but am yet to meet one who cries

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yumbya ben says:

      Not to worry Faith soon you will meet him


  2. charity says:

    ok good advise

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Edna says:

    Gentlemen are rare.
    Good work😃

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nice one Ben, maybe gentleman is just an idea.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yumbya ben says:

      I couldn’t agree more Geri


  5. Sly says:



  6. matote says:

    woow reason to believe maybe ishld try make my self a Mr Right


    1. yumbya ben says:

      Yes Yvonne you should definitely do that


  7. àrà says:

    Nice one Ben! E kuu se 🙂


  8. Àrà says:

    Nice one Ben. Ekuuse 🙂


  9. shain kamau says:

    Nice article!!I dont think women ask for too much or men do less but our mindset from teachings from all over is biased. we are expected to behave in a certain me contextlization with reality is a must if we dont want disapointment


  10. Paul vanessa says:

    Lol… What are you guys feeling like sef

    Liked by 1 person



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